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| Tale of Sexual Woe |
A man had issues with penetration and sought help.
Not the end of the world for him, though.
Interesting article.
Do read.
I’m 38, male,
heterosexual, and have always experienced a phobic reaction to penetrative sex.
I lose any semblance of an erection. I enjoy many forms of sexual contact and
have normal erections with and without a partner, but most intimacy has ended
in depression, humiliation, sometimes ridicule. Viagra produced mixed results.
When I've sought help I was told that nothing much could be done outside a
steady relationship, but I'm now starting a potential one.
There's no need to
feel hopeless. A good sex therapist could identify the cause, then create a
treatment plan. You would not necessarily need a partner, although it could
certainly be helpful if you found an understanding person who was willing to
participate in your treatment (in the US, professional surrogate partners are
sometimes used for such cases). There are individual techniques such as guided
imagery, visualisation, relaxation, progressive desensitisation, hypnosis, or
psychodynamic psychotherapy.
First, try to reframe the importance you place on
penetration. Intercourse isn't necessarily a woman's favourite part of
lovemaking, so the shame you feel about your erectile failures is really
unnecessary. After all, it's direct clitoral stimulation –not penetration –
that helps her achieve orgasm. Once you realise you can be a fantastic lover
without erections, you will be well on the way to sexual health.
-the guardian.cm
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