English-Saucily Abused?

Funnily Abused, that is

English is indeed the universal language; be it for education, communication and especially entertainment of many sorts.

Its universal usage however has led to all kinds of misconstrued use, some laughably funny and has indeed became saucy for unimaginable fun.

And that is why expressive grammar English and appropriate precise vocabulary is paramount!

Here goes:

In a Bangkok Temple :

IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

Cocktail lounge, Norway:

LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

Doctor's office, Rome :

SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Dry cleaners, Bangkok :

DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

In a Nairobi restaurant:

CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the main road to Mombasa , leaving Nairobi :

TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

On a poster at Kencom:

ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.

In a City restaurant:

OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

In a Cemetery:

PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS, FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES .

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:

GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE, OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

On the menu of a Swiss Restaurant:

OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

In a Tokyo Bar:

SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

Hotel, Yugoslavia:

THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE, IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel, Japan:

YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

In the lobby of a Moscow Hotel, across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery:

YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY, WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY,EXCEPT THURSDAY.

A sign posted in Germany 's Black Forest :

IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE, THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT, UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Hotel, Zurich :

BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand :

WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen :

WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS. (Just Like British Airways!!!)

A laundry in Rome:

LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND THEN SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

And finally the all time classic:

Seen in an Abu Dhabi Soup shop window:

IF THE FRONT IS CLOSED, PLEASE ENTER THROUGH MY BACKSIDE…

Whence-What the Nazi Grammarians Say

Grammar Nazi Flag

This article from Daven Haskey written in June, 2010 expalins the folly that derives from the wrong usage of such an interesting word such as whence.

I append his article in verbatim so that its clarity remains undiminished.

Here goes. 

" The Word 'Whence" is Pretty Much Always Used Incorrectly

Today, I found out that the word, 'whence' is pretty much used wrong,especially by modern day writers.

For example, (from the Lord of the Rings, spoken by Elrond):  “The Ring was made in the fires of Mount Doom; only there can it be unmade. It must be taken deep into Mordor and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came.”

So why is this wrong?  ‘Whence’ actually means “from where” or “from what place”;  so what was said above was, “It must be taken deep into Mordor and cast back into the fiery chasm from from where it came.”  ‘Whence’ implies a “from” already; so preceding it with ‘from’, which is commonly done, is redundant.  This is the principal advantage of using a word like “whence” instead of just saying “from where”; it implies the “from” already.

This is very similar to “hence” which, if used to refer to time or location, has an implied “from”: “from this place” or “from this time”. For example: “I shall go hence.”; meaning “I shall go from here”.

It isn’t just now-a-days that this has been commonly misused either.   Grammar Nazis have been long enraged about the “from whence” faux paus since as early as the thirteenth century.

Whence did this first start popping up?  There are numerous examples of the “from whence” incorrect usage in works by Shakespeare, Defoe, Charles Dickens, Mark Twain, and even several in the King James Bible.

So just remember:

‘from whence’ = ‘from from where’ = bad

‘whence’ = ‘from where’ = good "

Though they may have lost much of their use in English currency these days, many words such as lest,hence and whence are still appropriate if used wisely in context.

Happy learning English to you!

MAS-The Whipping Boy

Backlash from Chinese Entertainers

Today marks the 20th day of the disappearance of MH370.

So far, amidst speculation and theories, no plane, bodies or specific debris has been found in the Indian Ocean that can be linked directly to the ill-fated aircraft and its passengers.

The cry for blood continues, however.

Look at the car with the extreme message of disgust against Malaysia.

Disgust in Signage on a Car

Now, apart from condemning Malaysia of bad management of the search and rescue operations, MAS is also getting the short end of the stick from mainland Chinese-tour agencies are not selling MAS tickets any more.

Some photographs here tells us that even entertainment icons like Zhang Zhi Yi and others are asking, in the near term for reprisals-the boycott of films and music and song of Malaysian  actresses.and singers.

With new theories of what may have happened to flight MH370 arriving daily; until we have concrete evidence in hand, the search and sorrow continues!

Relatives from Okra

Willie and Lilian

Yes, in faraway Florida is my niece and her hubby.

These are their mugshots and frolicking times  in good ole America.

Dreamy Eyes

Ribboned and Packed

Flaming Red Allure

Office Cleaning and Tea Lady?

Alien  Challenge?

To endear.........

Sibling Affections with Li Shien

 Good Frolicking Times

No Diet Whopper!

Recovery and Probable Demystification of MH370

A Model of the Abyss Drone

Now that the official proclamation has been made by Malaysia,the recovery stage will begin.

Drone technology with the capability of scouring ocean beds up to depths of 6 kilometers will be utilised to find the wreckage of MH370.

Only three of these submersible drones called the Abysses are manufactured to date and  one will be employed to do this onerous tasks of recovery as the sea is an 'assorted dustbins of sort'.

In the event that the debris is found particularly the black box, then the mystery of the fatal flight will likely be known. Otherwise the world will continue with its speculation and conspiracy theories.

Alain Bouilard, the man who led the probe into the 2009 Air France probe, has cautioned not to take the tragic pronouncement of the fate of MH370 at face value as he feels that, at this stage,  it has not been fully conclusive.

He told the Daily Telegraph that for him, all those veritable wooden crates and fragments on beaches may not hold the answer at all.  To be conclusive, all debris must be identified, examined and evaluated.

The main issue is to use the latest technology available to pick up signals from the black box. This is  critically vital as the data within it will contain two hours of cockpit conversation and a wealth of flight parameters. Without these,no one will ever  know what transpired that led to the disappearance of flight MH370.

While the seabed probe was done 'without much problems' in the Atlantic for the Air France crash, the Indian Ocean is considered  a 'rogue ocean' that ships avoid because of its unfriendly nature--strong currents,fierce winds, violent storms and 10-meter waves and heavy weather.

The task even using the abyss will be a challenging one.

Official Closure for MH370

Technical Guesstimate with 19th Century Doppler?

Yesterday night 10 pm Malaysian time (24 March 2014), the Malaysian Prime Minister announced that based on sources of reliable satellite data collected and using the Doppler Effect theory, he confirmed formally that MAS flight of MH370 ended tragically at sea in the desolate South Indian Ocean.

Public  Outpouring of Faith Memorabilia 

With that, all grieving relatives as well as participating Search and Rescue nations could make subsequent plans for closure of this tragedy that took the lives of 229 passengers and  10 crew members.

The recovery phase will now begin.

Though no one at the moment knows what really happened on board the fatal plane albeit with all the conspiracy theories and speculation, some almost plausible, swirling around it; the world would have to accept the reality that flight  MH370 has indeed "ended " and has disappeared into the dark depths of the Indian Ocean.

Black Frontpages

The world has now begun to see relatives and friends  mourn the death of loved ones.

Fun Pics

Basketsunball

Yes, you do not need imagination.

Classy BMW Cow

Just creativity, the camera and possibly the computer.

Walla!

Double Decker flight

Freaky MAS Advert on Boeing 777

 An Ad Premonition?

This is one gruesome prophecy of MH 370!

That is the first thought that comes to mind!

Is the devil playing tricks on all of us?

Are words of advertisement a premonition of terrible things to come?

14 days and the plane has yet to be found.

The Accused-Gang Rape and Criminal Solicitation

Rape and Criminal  Solicitation

This is one interesting movie about a Assistant District Attorney who plea-bargained a rape case for lesser charges that actually got the same sentence  for the rapists only to be told by the victim that what she did was not enough as she was not consulted on it and she was deem slutty in the public eye.

Realistic acting as a rape victim

Feeling morally wrong, she convinced her office to let those who urged on the rapists to be brought to justice as well by putting the rape victim on the witness stand to be corroborated by another independent witness.
The court found for the rape victim and those who raped her got the sentence extended to the full stretch of 5 years.

An interesting movie that add a twist to how justice is being served especially in  gang rapes and also for those who encouraged the act through the charge and conviction of criminal solicitation.

The Assistant District Attorney, Kathryn Murphy

Kelly McGillis stars as Kathryn Murphy and Jodie Foster played the rape victim, Saras Tobias.

Good movie.

The LPI AGM with Edwin

I met Edwin and his girlfriend while attending the LPI AGM at the Shangrila in KL on 17 March 2014.

Chew Sang Peng-Wake and Cremation

Life Goes On

I and my wife started for Nirvana Memorial Park Shah Alam to pay our last respects to our buddy friend, Chew Sang Peng who departed us so suddenly.

Born on 10 November 1946, he had a life on earth short of 68 years old.

But I believe he had one rich life that he had lived to the hilt in his own way!

He had more life in his years!

We (me and the wife) started off at 11.20 am and got there to Nirvana in record time.

Nobody was there at the crematorium and so we did our walk-about at the park looking at the columbriums and other facilities. Soon, a staff of Nirvana helped us get back to the crematorium by giving both of us a ride in his buggy car.

The hearse carrying the remains of Chew then arrived with gospel music being played from the hearse station wagon.

A bus carrying the New Life Restoration Church congregation soon arrived too and so did many of Chew's relatives.

Thankfully, Mrs Chew got Chew's sister and his daughter Sarah to fly back from Sydney.

Mrs Chew told us that she spoke quietly to Chew pleading him to just let go and he did just that at 8.08 pm yesterday night (17 March).

The body was then taken to the mortuary managed by Nirvana in Salak South before it was brought to Shah Alam today for the cremation.

After an eulogy from his childhood friend Mr Wong, we sang Amazing Grace and Because of You  in full gusto and in unison. The church pastor then delivered a short message of the afterlife and that  we must rejoice as Chew is in a better place.

We then filed one by one by his coffin, to take a last look at his  face ever so calm in sweet slumber.

Chew's sisters cried bitterly at his going.

As if on cue, we placed our white chrysanthemums offerings on the coffin.

Then the coffin rolled into the crematorium oven to be burned.

Apparently it will take only 40 minutes to burn.

Mrs Chew told us that she will collect the ashes tomorrow to be strewn into the South China Sea.

No ashes will be kept in an urn in memorial. That's the way Chew wanted it as his last wish.

Before we could leave, it rained dogs and cats.

To me, the heavy rain is a sign that God is with Chew and symbolises that a great child of God has just passed on into the heavenly realm.

Farewell my friend as you find your new place on the right hand side of God in the heavenly city of Zion.

Good-bye.

The Passing On of Chew Sang Peng

Columbrium

It was distressing to receive an sms after midnight from his wife that he has passed on in the late evening of 17 March 2014.

I knew that the palliative treatment regime was a slow go for Sang Peng as they reduced medication to his body for a comfortable exit and departure.

By Sunday, he was transferred to the 11th Floor of the Menara Utama; an indication that the end is near and it will be quick.

Today, he will be cremated at the Nirvana Crematorium in Section 21 , Shah Alam at 1 pm;some ashes will be kept in an urn at the nearby columbarium while the rest will be disposed at sea by the funeral home on behalf of his family.

Crematorium

Sadly his children, Sarah and Daniel will not be here to see the father off as they are in faraway Australia.

Today saw a passing of a great friend.

Good-bye.

Too Much of a Good Thing is Wonderful-A Biopic of Liberace

The HBO movie, directed by Steven Soderbergh called " Behind the Candelabra" is a credible biopic of the rise and fall of Liberace.

A gifted showman, Liberace was a wizard on the piano who  kept his life as a homosexual under wraps as he indulged in the gay world in the early days of AIDS .

Today, Elton John mirrors Liberace in some way; himself a gay too.

That Liberace finally succumbed to AIDS just like Freddy Mercury and Rock Hudson did not dampen his fame as the rhinestone performer that reinvented himself with flowing white robes, glittering, red garbs and a candelabra on the piano.

Liberace and Scott

Great made-for-tv movie to watch with  naughty dialogue and gay action  from Michael Douglas as Lee-Liberace and Matt Damon as Scott Thorson.

Noble Thoughts

These are truly noble thoughts.

Live it and be blessed by it.

Truth in Living

Faith in the Lord

How true

Recalling the Times with Chew Sang Peng

Where We Experienced Typhoon Edna

I first knew this man sometime in the mid 80s.

He was placed as the Deputy in the Research Division of the Housing Ministry to help in technical research in housing.

He was a constant lunch companion and showed me good eating places such as the Koon Kee Wantan Mee shop and the former Section 14 Bah Kut Teh.

It was with him that I went for a tour of Taiwan and Hong Kong.

Experiencing an Earthquake in Taichung

Together, we experienced one fantastic earthquake in Taichung as well as went through and saw the ravages of typhoon Edna in Hong Kong.

We took time from the tour agenda to visit Chang Kai Shek museum and made a bee-line for Macau to give lady luck a chance at the slot machines.

 I scored a triple seven and won some money before departing for Hong Kong on a fast hovercraft.

Chew taught me many things on tour. Go to a supermarket to check on prices before you go to the street or night markets.

We also went to look at the red-light district in Taipei and for the first time I saw a street adorn in pink hues.

Chew and me also dabbled on the stock market, spending our short  lunch time looking at quotes in a former Bursar trading headquarters in Bukit Damansara with its large boards and saw prices been manually marked up and down .

I will write some more as my  memory help bring back the times I had with this gentleman.

The Setting Sun Possibly for Chew 

I have prayed for him daily for almost a year after I knew he was down with third stage colon cancer.

Visiting Chew Sang Peng at the UH

The Strength of Prayer to the Lord

Dateline: Time: 15 March 2014(Saturday)

It was a rude shock for me to get a phone call from Mrs. Chew that Sang Peng is now on palliative care at the University Hospital where he is being treated currently.

He came in on Tuesday (11 March) because of jaundice and his condition has worsened.

He is treated in Room 8 of the Surgical Ward, 7th Floor, Menara Utama of Universiti Hospital .

I called some old friends  who knew Chew on the phone as well as put out a message on the email.

 Joyce responded that she felt sad at this happening and Soraya and Kooi Ming felt the same.

Cheng Hong said she will visit him in UH and Francis said he will go to see Chew to pray for him once he has the first opportunity.

Choo Peen and I rushed to see him at the visiting hour window of 5-7 pm today.

We comforted Mrs Chew and asked her to be strong.

Chew was unconscious and was on oxygen support as well as morphine.

Mrs. Chew told us that the doctors are slowly reducing the medicine but has kept the morphine on a steady dose to assure Chew  a comfortable exit.

With some close friends from the Life Church ,we all prayed to Almighty God in the name of Lord Jesus for a miracle to happen here to restore Sang Peng to good health.

The Bomoh Parodies

The real shaman at work

Scientific Incorporation

In spite of the continuing mystery of the tragic MH 370 flight, many parodies have come onto the internet based on that shaman at work at the KLIA.

Creative Girls

They can be fun and also showed the creativity of the Malaysians using what little IT knowledge on the internet.

Imaginative students

Here are some of the amusing ones.

Innovative Gym He-men

The Boys Next Door at It

Community Pantomime

Obama is a New Believer

Reminds me of 'Gravity'

Anime Shamans at work

Legoland Version

MH370-Are We at the Cusp of Discovery?

Boeing 777-200 on Takeoff

Today's satellite photo from the Chinese authorities of a probable sighting of the wreck of an aircraft possibly MH370 certainly raise hopes for both SAR authorities and relatives of the ill-fated flight.

Spacious Indoors of   Boeing 777-200

Though it took 4 days for the satellite photo to be revealed which is humanely insane: a further mystery was how was it possible that the communication of a NZ worker on a oil rig at sea who saw a burning plane drop from the sky at the probable spot where MH370 disappeared, elicit no response from both his company and the authorities.

Now the US has apparently identified a  'ping' from the ill-fated airliner somewhere in the Indian Ocean.

Will we finally discover the whereabouts of MH370?

Bungle or Hijack?