The Blog Lovers Run into a Public Storm

Macho Man on Show

Alvin and Vivian, the now famous blog lovers have run into a public storm of conservatism and possibly the law too. We hope that the law can be kind here.

Lovely Innocence?

This is Regina's write-up in THE STAR  about the two red hot lovers.

"They have become outrageously famous in a week but the consequences of having a scandalous sex blog are starting to set in for Alvin Tan and Vivian Lee.

Lee, 23, may be kicked out of her family home after “Sumptuous Erotica”, the blog she shared with Tan, 24, made the headlines in several newspapers here and in Singapore.

“My mother gave me an ultimatum marry him or move out within a month,” she said, adding that she was “a little scared” about the prospect.

She had just graduated with a marketing degree from Multimedia University and is living in Johor Baru with her mother and elder brother.

Tan has been spending leave of absence from the National University of Singapore (NUS) by being with his parents here and his rented apartment in Kuala Lumpur. This leave is unrelated to the sex blog.

Lee said with the slim probability of marrying Tan, as both considered themselves young and not committed to each other monogamously, she might just end up moving in with him.

“I think she can depend on me. I think I can provide financially,” said Tan during a lengthy interview with The Star Media Group here yesterday.

Both said that Lee's distraught and widowed mother had been trying to contact Tan to rebuke him but he did not answer her calls.

“My mother also scolded me and pleaded with me to not give any more press interviews,” said Lee. “But I guess I'm going against that, too.”

As for Tan, an ASEAN scholar reading law, he faces possible expulsion from NUS besides having his expensive scholarship revoked after his and Lee's nude pictures and sex videos hogged the headlines in the republic.

But he said he did not see it as a “big thing” if the university sacked him and instead, appears to have set his sights on gaining more infamy.

Both Tan and Lee want to break into show business and did not rule out the possibility of becoming actors.

They also revealed that sharing the intimate photos and videos on the Internet were “a mutual idea”. It was Lee who coaxed Tan into capturing the nude clips of each other.

“We started taking the nude shots the second time we met up,” said Tan. “We were fooling around in a hotel in Penang while on holiday and she was totally naked.

“She asked me if I wanted to take her picture and I was game for it,” said Tan, who said he had not gone as far in sexual experimentation with his past girlfriends.

“Most are cowards. OK, I take that back. They are unadventurous,” he said, adding that calling oneself “adventurous” was self-serving.

“Doing things like bungee-jumping or skydiving is pretty standard stuff,” he said. “I want to hang out with people who have done things that are unprecedented.”

Catch the pre-recorded interview with the couple on Red FM (104.9) and Capital FM (88.9) at 2pm today.

Listeners in the Klang Valley can also tune in to Chinese station 988 FM (98.8) at 7.30am on Tuesday.

The Star media group's radio stations Red FM, Capital FM and 988 FM grilled sex bloggers Alvin Tan and Vivian Lee. Some of the topics include:

- How they met and his obsession with women named “Vivian”.

“Alvin has a fetish for the name Vivian. We met through a mutual friend on Facebook, and Alvin just added me.” - Vivian

- On recording sex videos.

“It is actually a lot more rehearsed. The more passionate sex that we have is not recorded. It is actually like work.” - Alvin

- What if it were their kids putting up sex videos?

“I wouldn't encourage them directly, but I will encourage them to develop whatever that they are talented or interested in.” - Alvin

- Does he regret any of this?

“We will only regret the things that we don't do. Twenty years from now, I will look back to my 20s and think that I was so awesome.” - Alvin." 

Fallacies of Wealth and Money-Arguments

Money Makes the World Go Round

Stacy Johnson has ponied up 10 common misconceptions of money. They are quite probable in arguments.

I recently celebrated my 57th birthday, and have arrived at a common conclusion about getting older: It sucks. But there’s one good thing that comes with age – the wisdom that can only come from experience. Experience helps you understand how life actually works, and how remarkably different life is from the kind you so often see portrayed in commercials, movies, and daydreams.

Prime example? Money. The myths surrounding money are numerous and widely held, especially among the young. It’s a shame, because pursuing myths will lead you astray, waste your time and, taken to extremes, ruin your life.

Here are 10 popular misconceptions about money that experience has taught me are more often fiction than fact…

1. The more money I have, the happier I’ll be.

Let’s ask Howard Hughes, Anna Nicole Smith, John Belushi, Chris Farley, Marilyn Monroe, Michael Jackson, Amy Winehouse and Jimi Hendrix,Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain, and Elvis about this one. OK, guys, show of hands… did fame and fortune make you happy?

Happiness comes from liking yourself, something completely unrelated to money. Riches buys recognition, too often confused with validation.

But respect, especially self-respect, is not for sale. When you’re on your death-bed, will you be thinking about money? If so, your contribution to the gene pool was negligible. Rather than obsessing about money, think about what really makes you happy. Then make only enough money to take part in those activities. Making more is a waste of the only non-renewable resource you have: your time on the planet.

2. A big income will keep me out of debt. 

What’s the difference between someone who makes $50,000 a year with a $100,000 mortgage and someone who makes $500,000 a year with a $1 million mortgage? Answer: nothing. Unless they have money set aside for emergencies, they’re both a paycheck away from disaster. Debt often rises with income. 

What keeps you out of debt is not a high income or net worth. It’s not borrowing money.

3. Millionaires drive fancy cars, wear fancy clothes, and live in fancy houses. 

Not according to the folks who did a bunch of research and wrote The Millionaire Next Door. According to their studies, the average American millionaire drives an unexciting American car, lives in the same nondescript house they have owned for years, and avoids designer labels. That’s how they became millionaires. So who’s buying all the designer clothes and Porches? Many times it’s people who will never become wealthy because they’re swapping tomorrow’s financial freedom for today’s appearance. As I’m fond of saying, life affords you the opportunity to either look rich or be rich, but few live long enough to accomplish both. The younger you decide,  the better.

4. The more money I have, the less worries I’ll have. 

Balderdash. Money does not end anxiety. It gives you something else to be anxious about: losing your money. Granted, those without enough money to eat or keep a roof over their heads have lots to worry about.But once you have enough money for all your needs and a reasonable number of your desires, the excess will add to your concerns, not alleviate them.

5. Money will help me find love. 

In my experience with women, they’re not attracted to money. They are,however, attracted to ambition and intelligence, especially when it presents as humor. Everyone’s attracted to people who are self-confident, non-needy, and able to laugh at themselves. Like a peacock, wealthy people can easily attract attention. But attention is not the same as admiration or affection. And even if it works, do you really want to spend your life with someone so shallow and insecure they were attracted to your money?

6. I’ll have more fun if I have more money.

When I was young, I did not have two nickels to rub together, but I had a ton of fun. Today I have lots of nickels – and am happy to report, still having a riot. There’s no doubt that money can furnish the elements of a good time. But if you need money to have fun, you’re boring. And should you become a billionaire, you’ll still be boring.

7. Money means security. 

When you boil it down, a primary purpose of money is to make life more predictable. It allows you to control your environment by being prepared for the unexpected. While that’s partly true, there’s not enough money in the world to completely control everything. I could have a heart attack and die before I finish writing this, and you could have one before you finish reading it. Accept that we’re all bobbing on a sea of uncertainty, no matter how much money we have.

 8. Money will enable me to meet interesting people. 

In my experience, you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting interesting people. But if I want to maximize my odds of meeting someone worth knowing, I won’t be heading to the nearest country club. I have met plenty of fun and interesting rich people – but I have also met rich people who were vain, myopic, pretentious, and judgmental. They were not that way because they were rich. They were that way because they were born rich and as a result never had to overcome adversity. Overcoming adversity is what makes people interesting, not how much money they have. People without at least a few skeletons in the closet are often shallow as a puddle.

9. I need money to travel, and travel is important. 

The world is an interesting place, and being well-traveled makes you interesting. But travel comes in many forms, including the budget variety. If you want to see faraway places, you’ll find a way. In my book Life or Debt, I conclude by describing the first book I ever read about something I love: sailing. The book was about a couple who built their own sailboat and traveled around the world, working when they needed to and never accumulating more than a few thousand dollars at a time. Their boat had no air conditioning, no refrigerator – not even a radio.

What most people do in the same situation is wait until they have enough money to buy what amounts to a floating condo: a boat that’s luxurious, seaworthy, and far too expensive to ever actually buy. The result is they spend their lives on the dock. What a waste.

10. Money will buy friends. 

This is not only untrue; it’s the opposite of what money actually does. I have got a super-rich friend or two, and what I have observed is that money attracts plenty of hangers-on – but almost no friends. People with vast wealth or fame can’t trust the motives of those surrounding them (see No. 5 above). That’s why the people they count as true friends are normally either people they knew before they were rich and famous, or people who are equally rich and famous. There’s the advantage of being judged on your personality versus your net worth: The friends that result actually like you, not what you can do for them.

How happy a man is, is not how much he has but how little he needs. So, what do you think?