Belittling the Commissioner for Oaths?

Chopping Man?

Loyar Buruk in the Selangor Times dated July 6-8, 2012 has an obtuse wit or unforgivable scorn towards Commissioners for Oath.


A query from a Walt Whitman, via email, possibly an imaginary modern-day missive went like this.


Lord Bobo, 


What is a' Commissioners for Oath'?It sounds very grand but I understand all that they do is sign photocopies of documents to make them certified true copies. What else do these commissioners do? I'm considering my career options and looking for a career involving monotonous tasks that I can attend to between writing poetry, and to bring in a steady income stream.


This is the answer proferred by the Lordy Bobo from the Comedy Courts of Mirth.


Here goes:


On a scale of 1-10, on the power scale,  a Commissioners for Oath (COM) ranks a big zero.


Unlike a police commissioner,commissioner of census or commissioner of law revision-who are all in command of the many competent and intelligent men and women of rank, and do important stuff for the nation, a COM has only his chops, record book,badge, and trusty signing pen at his command and sits around waiting for customers a lot.


It is a position often given to retired civil servants,,current government officers entrusted to administer oaths, or very ambitious lawyers.As his powerfully sounding title suggests, he has the power to administer oaths.


Although he is most famed for administering oaths when someone affirms an affidavit and taking and receiving statutory declarations ( a sworn statement), he can do other things too depending on his underlying role.


If he is also an advocate and solicitor,he can receive acknowledgement of married women when it is required by law, receive acknowledgement of bail and bail bonds, administer oaths for justification for bail, oaths for examination of witnesses and swearing of executors and of witnesses in a court action.


Aside from that, a COM would have long thoughtful discussions with the dispatch or customers who seek his services, eat a fair deal of unhealthy food, sit on hsi rapidly expanding posterior due to the lack of exercise and grow pretty cynical about life.


He would however cultivate the awesome ability to burst-sign something like 60-70 pages per minute for about 10 minutes. that is not an ability  to be looked down upon. Not many humans or even wonder monkeys can do stuff like that.


As for career options, you'd best keep that day job, even if it's writing poetry no one reads. His fee's is just RM4 per affidavit and RM2 for each copy of an affidavit (not sure why since he has to sign it the same way with the same ink as the first. It's not like he can just dot the rest since he gets a lesser rate). It's also RM2 per exhibit and RM1 for each copy of the exhibit.


A COM gig, however, would suitably complement a food stall business like nasi lemak  or various kuih.


Take note however that you cannot affirm the awesomeness of the food you are selling. That's a flagrant conflict of interest. So keep it fragrant.


I will write some of my thoughts raised by loyar buruk in another posting.